he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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