I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
