We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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