I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
