look no pants
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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