Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
