UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
