one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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