Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
