I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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