My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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