dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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