Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
