I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
