just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
