Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
