You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You made out with two different species that night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
