maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
