just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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