dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize