and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
