You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
