It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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