I seem to have left my pride at pride
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
