that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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