Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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