I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
