Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
