why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Fuck appropriateness.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
