I'm gonna have a badass scar
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
