You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
