you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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