I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
