i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
