he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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