Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I looked at my own cervix.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
