One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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