why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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