I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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