I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do vagina's smell?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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