he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they're like a gay fantastic four
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
