just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
