I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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