I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You took a bar mat shot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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