I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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