He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
