I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
