So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize
