i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
