I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
