Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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