Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
