You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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