I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize