idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
