She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
