My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
