I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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