I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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