I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
