look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
