have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
