Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something

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(985): View more from Louisiana

If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.

Fav 12 5853 936
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.

Fav 7 1058 4140
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(865): View more from Tennessee

He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

Fav 29 1571 8692
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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

Fav 30 3624 1103
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

Fav 4 1991 946
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(217): View more from Illinois

You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you

Fav 2 2173 834
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(620): View more from Kansas

You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...

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(518): View more from New York

Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?

(1-518): View more from New York

Absolutely same thing as church only different

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