my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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