You can't motorboat a personality
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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