I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
